2 New Poems - 1 Nice, 1 Nasty. Both True.

Breed by The Piper Machine

I Might Not Mind The Fact; or, Lying In The Gutter. NSFW by The Piper Machine

ONE NIGHT STAND - a new poem

By me.

Dedicated to... sorry what's your name again darling?

EDIT:

I've been a bit unsure about this one since I published it. I think, in fact, it's a lot closer to 'Poetry' than anything else I've done. And it might work on the page better than in your ears... Here it is in print and voice.

Your clooves are hot and hairy

Your eyes are black with lice.

Your brain is a wheel that's spun,

Run by infernal mice.

Your teeth bear stains of gnashing,

Your arse has a gravity that sucks in all sight;

All is occluded, nothing burns bright -

Except that vicious silken wiggle, painful delight.

Your hips fling flame as you walk;

Your lips drip pain as you talk.

Shame. Shame. Shame. Can I?

Can I good cop/bad cop you?

I over-rule all your objections.

And though you 'Aye' and you 'Nay',

You also whinny, growl, purr and Hey!

Baby. Let's make haaaaay!

......................

I sing the Magnificent Song of Your Boobs,

As they slip and they slide and run free.

You have a diamond as big as the Ritz on your clit

O! Wiggle it closer to me...

The ode in your arse, the prayer of your hips,

The full-throated roar of your shell;

Your Catholic Voodoo Norse epic ellipsis -

I'll plunge dark in your void, damn your hell!

Let me see your mystic dancing

Rockin' rollin' gnostic heresy.

Tattoo a cross and singe my soles,

Prick my doll, burn my wicker, chop my tree!

Tick Tock Tick Tock, I've got a massive clock.
And it's beating just for you.

Ding dong! You're not wrong!

And don't worry! I'll show you how I WOOOO!

Your mouth wraps well 'round my phallindromes;

You like it long and hard from both ends.

Will you Onomatopeia on my face? (splosh!) Do!

Come from your depths, decompress my bends.

Now that Wilhelm Reich - what a guy!

He'd burst his fat orgone right into your eye.

Should I bust my nutty nut all over your fizzog?

Funk like Slick Rick, or Snoop Doggy Dogg?

I la-di-da-di - and I love to party,

In your top-shelf top-notch top-hole.

I wax off and wax on with tremendous aplomb;

If you don't like my engine don't shovel my coal!

Yes! I am the Nigerian Pope of Trash - and I will beatify your gnash

Is there a part of you I haven't touched yet?

Did you know I've been raped by none other than the Sun?

Yes, alright, I'm a sexual surrealist dandy magician hypnotist cheeseball with an apocalyptic streak.

But - I know how to fuck.

SO. You smash my head against the head of your bed.

And, as I ejaculate in your cunt, I grunt.

ONE NIGHT STAND (not safe for work or the delicate) by The Piper Machine

THE BEST MIXTAPE IN THE GALAXY volume 2 - Girls and Boys

Click here for Part 1 - An introduction to the incredible Galaxy of Music, the massive task lying ahead of our hero, and all the legendary musicians he gets to meet.

PART 2 - Music for love scenes, of all sorts. Soft, beautiful, romantic; dirty, chilling, confusing. The first, perhaps most important part of his education in life. But is she a ruthless agent of POP?

It's so big... I had to split in two so as not to overwhelm you. It starts with the best song about masturbation ever. Also the erstwhile leader of The Nation Of Islam's confuso-calypso, and lots and lots of heavy breathing.


ULTIMATE MIXTAPE GALAXY INCIDENTAL MUSIC VOL 2 - "I Love Dig":

1. With Me In Mind - Cody Chesnutt
2. You Look Great When I'm Fucked Up - The Brian Jonestown Massacre
3. Le Premier Bonheur Du Jour - Francoise Hardy
4. Handsome Man - Barbara Pittman & Gene Lowery
5. Hares On The Mountain - Shirley Collins & Davy Graham
6. Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl - The Barbarians
7. Is She Is, Or Is She Ain't? - Louis Farrakhan
8. Women Women Women - Shelley Lee Alley & His Alley Cats
9. Femme Fatale - Big Star
10. Putain Que Ma Joie Demeure - Serge Gainsbourg
11. The Oogum Boogum Song - Brenton Wood
12. Psychedelic Woman - Honny & The Bees Band
13. I Dig Love - Asha Puthli
14. Slow Tongue - Millie Jackson
15. Make It Fast, Make It Slow - Di Rob
16. Organ Grinder Blues - Clarence Williams
17. Two Girls In Love (With Each Other) - Snatch And The Poontangs
18. I Love To Love You - Johnny Guitar Watson
19. When You Touch Me - Reigning Sound
20. Suey - Jayne Mansfield
21. Little Girl - John & Jackie
22. If You Pick Her Too Hard (She Comes Out Of Tune) - Little Richard
23. Go Home Little Girl - Ola Belle Reed


ULTIMATE MIXTAPE GALAXY INCIDENTAL MUSIC VOL. 2A - "Oh God, I Love That Girl, And I want To Fuck Her As Quick As I Can"

1. California Girls [vocal track] - Beach Boys
2. Just To Walk That Little Girl Home - Mink DeVille
3. When A Man Loves A Woman - The Elgins
4. Going In Circles - The Natural Four
5. Can't Seem To Make You Mine - The Seeds
6. I'd Give My Life For You - Willie Dixon
7. Ruler Of My Heart - Irma Thomas
8. Oh! Caroline - Matching Mole
9. If You Want My Love - The Nightcrawlers
10. Don't Bring Me Down - The Animals
11. Speaking Of Happiness - Gloria Lynne
12. Vanity - Don Cherry
13. Oh, My Love - Yoshida Brothers
14. She Loves You (telephone) - Peter Sellers
15. I'd Rather Go Blind - Etta James
16. Just Waitin' - Luke The Drifter
17. Spooky - Lydia Lunch
18. Bring Me Up - Ash Ra Tempel
19. High On Love - The Knickerbockers
20. Mes Rêves de Satin - Patricia
21. Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space (I Can't Help Falling in Love) - Spiritualized
22. Daddy's Baby - Cody Chesnutt


PHEW! ENJOY IT WITH LOTS OF SUNSHINE

More Sexy Mythology

The Monster Eel - How The Coconut Was Acquired As Food by The Piper Machine

The Tuamotu Polynesian's legend of the battle between Te Tuna, or Phallus, the monster eel, and Maui, the Wonder-worker, and how Te Tuna's planted head produced the first coconuts.

Taken from the lips of Fariua-a-Makitua, of Fagatu, by JF Stimson, in The Legends of Maui and Tahaki, rendered by Joseph Campbell in The Masks of God: Primitive Mythology

PRETTY BRUISES MIXTAPE

SLAP HAPPY!

A mixtape on the theme of violence, sex, love, and the pretty lurid colours of bruises... mmm whack mmm


Tracklist:

1. You Always Hurt The One You Love - Spike Jones & His City Slickers
2. Thumping Beat - Screaming Lord Sutch
3. He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss) - The Crystals
4. Red Purple & Blue - The Bag
5. Voices Green and Purple - The Bees
6. Bein' Green - Kermit The Frog
7. The Green Hornet - B Bumble & The Stingers
8. Purple Stew - Thurston Harris & Rufus Hunter
9. Pretty Brown Skin - Edwin Birdsong
10. Our Wonderful Brownskin Man (take 2) - Tyrannosaurus Rex
11. Brown Skin Butterball - Mel Walker w/ Johnny Otis Orchestra
12. Brown To Blue - George Jones
13. Can Blue Men Sing The Whites? - The Bonzo Dog Band
14. Blue Days, Black Nights - Bob Luman
15. Blue Sunshine - The Meteors
16. Violet Sky - Yuzo Kayama
17. Redeye - Vivian Stanshall
18. Redskin - Bert Lown & His Orchestra
19. Amber Skin - Les Baxter
20. Orange Skin Food - Soft Machine
21. Yellow Coat - Screamin Jay Hawkins
22. Color Me Black - The Cramps
23. Pretty Colours - Deep Feeling
24. I'm Gonna Put Some Hurt On You - The Meters
25. Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In - Earl Vincent & The Valiants

BRUISETAPE